


in another moment

by orphan_account



Series: and you're unable to lead a happy life [1]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Other, because being intentionally distant from your kid is abuse, in my MIND, it can fuck a kid up, realizing you fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 08:32:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17957159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: That is, however, until you hear the horrific scream of Nightcloud, a cat you respected greatly, though not loved like you should’ve.You ran to her aid; she was the mother of your son, how could you not?And that's when your eyes settled on red. Blood. It was everywhere. And for a moment you were back in the tribe, sitting down next to your first love’s body begging her not to die.But this was worse. The blood you saw was leaking from your own kit.





	in another moment

You’re fine. There’s a few scratches here and there on you… but… other than that… you couldn’t be better. Now, of course, you should never underestimate an enemy, that’s one of the first things you’ve ever been taught.

 

But the battle was on easily. No casualties. You successfully managed to chase off the badgers without any losses.

 

That is, however, until you hear the horrific scream of Nightcloud, a cat you respected greatly, though not loved like you should’ve.

 

You ran to her aid; she was the mother of your son, how could you not?

 

And that's when your eyes settled on red. Blood. It was everywhere. And for a moment you were back in the tribe, sitting down next to your first love’s body begging her not to die.

 

But this was worse. The blood you saw was leaking from your own kit.

 

The kit you’d actually raised. Albeit not exactly lovingly.

 

“Breezepelt.”

 

You froze, and then almost fell, only the noise of Nightcloud’s cries could be heard.

 

 

“Breezepelt!”

 

You pathetically crawl over to your son, his eyes staring at the blue sky, and you were afraid. You hadn't given the kit much thought or care until now… but now...

 

Now it felt like your heart was getting ripped into pieces. You didn’t want him to die. _Starclan, please don’t let that happen to him…._

 

In this moment… you remember...

 

_He’s a kit bounding up to you for affection, wanting your approval. In that moment, this memory, you coldly reject him. Tuning out his cries when you do._

 

_**He’s not hers.** _

 

_**He’s not hers.** _

 

_The words, then, repeat in your head; causing your blocked-off attitude toward the young kitten. You hear, distantly, the kitten complain to his mother, saying;_

 

“ _He doesn’t want me.”_

 

_And, then, in that time, you didn’t. You wanted to be next to her, not stuck with a cat you don’t love with a son who doesn’t have her blood._

 

And then you snap back to reality. And you do want him. You worry for him.

 

“Wake up,” You beg, he doesn’t answer, “Wake up for your mother!”

 

Nightcloud throws herself between you and your son. Her tears clearly shown in the sunlight. “Get away from him!” She commands, tears flying, “You never cared!”

 

“But I do,” You hiss at her, though, aggression shouldn’t be present now, “I do care; he’s my son!”

 

She remains firmly in place, still not letting you get near him, “Then why didn’t you act like it, Crowfeather? Why did you fill him with such hate?”

 

“I didn’t do that,” You spat in response, “It was you who filled his head with those lies.”

 

Nightclouds laughs at your display, “But I never treated him with the hatred you had. I never made him feel worthless or not good enough for his own _parents_ ’ affection”

 

And though a fire burned inside you. You couldn’t respond.

 

What she said was right… and you couldn’t defend yourself….

 

Since when had you ever treated him with love? When had you ever said you were proud of his many attempts to please you?

 

_When have you ever said you loved him._

 

You take a step back, your eyes on the son you’ve abandoned, and you breathe in.

 

“I love you son,” You find yourself crying again, “And I’m sorry.”

 

Of course, as cruel as it was, there was no response.

 

Your only hope was that he lay in Starclan.


End file.
